GreenLoverJ’s sex photo of the day

You can like all-natural sex and consider nothing "unnatural"

Green Porn – Isabella Rosselini fucks like a bug

This is porn I’ve been addicted to for months. Isabella Rosselini –the stunning daughter of Ingrid Bergman and perverse songstress from Blue Velvet- made a handful of exceptionally short sex tapes. And I watch it over and over and over on The Sundance Channel.

“Green Porno” is Rosselini’s exploration into the seductive, mysterious, and often kinky world of bug sex.

Bug.

Sex.

Rosselini re-enacts insect mating rituals like a bizarre Nina Hartley for entomology fetishists.

Recently, they added a quiz so I can find out which bug I fuck like. I’m a little surprised.

Snails can be sexy...I guess.

It’s about time! Women get their own Viagra

They say over 25 million men take Viagra. “They” being Viagra. If Viagra says that many men are getting the prescription, I would say add a few more million users who don’t have a prescription. That’s a lot of men with man-made hard ons. I got a question. Where are the willing women?

While men lose the ability to “get it up” as they age, women are also losing the ability to “turn it on.” Why not a little pink pill to match the blue one, eh? eh? I swear, men get all the fun. Literally.

BUT NOT ANYMORE! We’re getting a testoterone patch! Well, not me, I mean, you know, we women. As a gender…

Anyway…

It’s for surgically menopausal women and it’s starting in the UK. See this for the total story. The patch releases low levels of testosterone, increasing sex drive. And while it’s only available by prescription for women who suffer early menopause due to surgery, I’m sure it will inevitably get a leak into the black market  much like Viagra.

While I’m not really a fan of medication (I don’t even like taking aspirin for a headache), I’m glad the ladies are at least considered in the sexual pharmaceutical world. So, with that said, Viva Intrinsa!

5 easy ways to save the planet while you bonk

Taking advantage of morning wood saves energy all around.

 Okay, there’s ways to go green sexually that take some effort -spending more money on the all-natural, all-vegan toys, condoms and fetish gear, or spending more time on sending old toys off to the recycler and researching the store you buy from. Blah blah, what a way to get turned off from getting turned on.

I say this because someone I know -let’s call her Sex Karma Kate- spent the weekend coming to the inane conclusion that she had to be soooo green in her sex world that she was only going to buy jade dildos and lubricants so organic they are considered perishable. Kate didn’t have money for lunch. Go figure.

So I’m going to help those of us who want to be green on a budget. Five EASY AND CHEAP ways to save the planet while having sex. Here we go!

1. Turn out the lights or do it to natural light – It’s gone full circle! Sex in the dark is good again! Have enough self esteem to do it with the lights on, but don’t waste electricity and turn that light off. Natural light, moonlight or candle light makes sex sexier anyway. What’s better than sex at sunrise? Nothing I tell you. Nothing at all.

2. Practice creative restraints recycling - Don’t spend an arm and a leg to restrain the other arm and leg. Bondage gear is a sex accessory must-have, but why get those leather cuffs and crops when you can play fetish 50′s with some old men’s ties from the thrift store and a wooden spoon.

3. Lube au natural – There’s two lubricants that are even more organic than organic lubricant. They are saliva and sexual arousal. I think that’s self explanatory, so I’ll leave it at that.

4. Get your toys from the pantry – My dear colleague Autumn over in Product Development did a blog about this. Go here to read it. I won’t even try to improve on this exhaustive household hump list.

5. Shower/bathe together – You save water!

Bondage Goes Vegan

Just last weekend, I was chatting with a friend about her challenge finding a vegan riding crop. She loves to abuse her man, but she hates hurting a cow to do it. So she makes sure all of her bondage and fetish gear is 100% vegan. I am quite naive when compared to this particular cuffs and crops connoiseur. “Can’t you just by cheap fake stuff?” She threw her hand to her chest and gasped (so dainty for a dominatrix). “I will not resort to cheap just because I am trying to practice some kindness to my fellow beings on the planet.”

Touche.

So after some research, I found out that it’s not just the animals who are saved by a pleather and faux fur fetishist. The planet gets a little love, too.

According to www.unreasonable.org, turning an animal hide into leather (and then into a stunning set of cuffs and cat o’ nine) causes wear and tear on our eco-system, and deeming the practice “a gross consumer of energy.” The hide is soaked, tanned (likely chrome tanned), dyed, dried, and finished. The major issue in this process is the chrome tanning. First, the whole point of tanning is to make it last forever…and thus make it no longer biodegradable. Second, if chrome tanning is used (usually the case), the waste contains chromium (which is bad). And for what it’s worth, leather kills a cow, and who even knows how that cow lived before it became your bedside bondage.

So there we go. Buy vegan fetish gear. It’s all good and it’s getting easier every day. Just google “vegan fetish gear” and you will find a plethora of pleather peddlers (wow, coffee makes me alliterate). And my two cents…feel free to get the cheap fake stuff.

Give a Piece of Your Mind About How Green You Like Your Piece of Ass

Those Brits are wonderful and curious and love to get into everyone’s sex brain. I was on a sex survey site that was emailed to me by my lovely colleague, Desiree, and saw a green sex survey! That is so me! So I filled it out. And I feel like I’ve shared to the world and the world is a better place.

This may be jumping the gun since my readership is only about three people (including my mother and alter-ego), but I’m going to do it anyway…

Hey, everyone! Go here! Tell them what you think about green sex toys!

If you were given 30 seconds on television to address everyone in the world, what would you say?

I would look straight into the living rooms of America and say this: “Do you really want to watch another half-hour sitcom or go get nasty with the person sitting next to you? That’s what I thought. Turn me off.” Although I guess I should be saying that now. “Turn off this computer and go get nasty with the person washing dishes in the kitchen…unless that person is your kids’ nanny and your wife is in the den…then…er…go watch some tv with your wife in the den. And THEN do what I said to do first.”

Sex Outdoors Checklist: What You Need to Get it On in the Wild

(Originally posted 9/2/08 -when we were on another blog host)

Yesterday was the final day of Burning Man -an annual event where any and all forms of sexuality is allowed to be expressed and explored in an emotionally safe, eco-friendly environment. I’m not going say there’s a lot of sex at Burning Man…but there’s a lot of sex at Burning Man. (So I guess I did say it.) Lots of free-expressin’, higher plane feelin’, open minded and open thighed sex. In tents. In cars. Outside. In front of people. Behind the bike racks. On top of an art installation lit by glo-sticks. All over the little city. And that led me to thinking.

Sex happens in many creative places. And sure, it happens at Burning Man in many creative places, but it can happen any time. Any where. Sometimes in a public bathroom. Sometimes in a car. Sometimes outside on a pile of leaves and twigs that get stuck in your hair and takes days to remove and sometimes a twig will fall out of your hair days later and you’ll think fondly of what’s-his-name with the surfboard…

But I digress.

Having sex outside is one of those creative spots we all want to do it, but fear for more than getting arrested. There’s details. is not as easy as the movies make it seem. Dirt can get into some hard to reach nooks and crannies. And your bedside stash isn’t a few steps away, so if you’re in the mood for an accessory, you better have packed it in the wine holder.

So I have decided to compile the “Eco-Sex Outdoor Sex Check List” for those who want to have sex outside. (Disclaimer: If you are considering sex outside where it is illegal to be exposing yourself, I do not condone this. At all. Really. I mean, like your backyard, or another country, or that stretch of beach you own..you know?)

ECO-SEX OUTDOOR SEX CHECK LIST

. Lubricant – Things can get sticky when playing in the dirt but you want it to be slick. Waterslide slick. I suggest a good silicone lube where less is more. Make sure the tube of lube you take is not glass and does not leak as rubbing the inside of your accidentally slicked backpack on your lover can be a real romance killer. If you want, bring some lube packets. They don’t take up much room and won’t leak.

. Toys – Dirt friendly toys help the cause. Even silicone can gather lint and dust just sitting on your shelf. So avoid the sticky stuff -jelly, realistic materials like CyberSkin, and silicone. Go for glass and hard plastic where the dirt can be wiped off easily.

. Clean-Up – Wipes wipes wipes! Bring some baby wipes or specially created sex wipes for clean up during and after sex. Also, consider some small dry towels, toy cleaner, and anti-bacterial gel. I also keep hair gel and lotion in my travel sex kit to be extra sweet.

. Be Prepared- Mom always told you to wear clean underwear. If you’re planning a jaunty trip, take some with you. And add to that preparedness list: a flashlight for when it gets dark, sunscreen because you’re going to expose some delicate body parts, and blankets for cover and/or warmth. Condoms of course fall under this category. And last but not least, an extra set of car keys hidden on the car’s exterior. Nothing says “I am a sexual moron” than being naked with your play partner and you patting down your bare ass wondering where your keys are.

. Recycle/Re-use/Throw Away the Evidence – Here’s my green lecture for the day: Don’t be a rude eco-screw. When you are done, take the condom, condom wrapper, and lube packets to the nearest trashcan or bring a trashbag. Don’t litter your sexin’. It may have been great during, but no one likes to happen upon an old, filled, condom. I just shivered. I grossed myself out.

Okay, so that’s the check list. Of course, feel free to add wine, wine glasses, massage oil, kama sutra book of positions, poetry by some obscure dude you read in college, etc. to your own list. And happy outdoor bangin!

Oh! And a final word on police. You know, if you ignored what I said about doing something illegal. If the cops come, do not be belligerent, and do not invite them to partake nor offer up your lover in exchange for freedom. Have your ID ready for them to see and apologize. Not a lot. Just once or twice. Cover yourself and your partner and act as civilised as possible. Often, you get away with only a chuckle and a warning and the likely chance that you are talked about quite often in the policemen’s lounge. Depending where you live, you can get a ticket or end up in the clink. Which would suck. Sorry. I told you to do it in your backyard.

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!